I was raised to believe that the Catholic perception of Mary was idolatrous - a mantra that I recall having no trouble whatsoever swallowing. After all, for a Protestant, it's a very self-evident leap in logic, no? On one hand, you see Moses laboring to carry down two stone tablets off a mountain, on which is written very clearly "Thou shalt have no other gods before me." Couple that with a hazy vision that Protestants have of Catholics on their knees before her statue and making requests of her. The idea of Mary functioning as intercessor between us and Christ only added fuel to the fire for most Protestants - "Hey now - Jesus died for us! There's no need for any of that! He did it all! Mary can't save you, only Jesus can!"
On one hand, of course, they're right. Mary alone can't save you - but her role in the Incarnation was intrinsic to our salvation. The Son opted to become human - demonstrating a humility that is simply staggering. Imagine - God as a little baby, being dependent in every sense of the word! Jesus could be killed - nothing other than the Holy Family's flight for life would have saved Him from Herod's sword. Jesus could be starved - nothing but Mary's care would sustain Him. Jesus could die of the cold - the swaddling cloths Mary wrapped Him in weren't just a cute little detail - they served a function. Imagine God submitting to all that. We speak of Christ being humiliated through His suffering and death in the passion, and rightly so, but we gotta remember that Jesus's life was nothing but a continual humiliation, from start to finish, and He embraced His dependence and His vulnerability - humility in the utmost.
All that being said, Mary's function as the harbor and protector of God Incarnate cannot be emphasized enough.
And I know all of this. But, being a convert from Protestantism, my perception of Mary is framed differently than that of the majority of cradle Catholics. My first inclination was, in fact, suspicion, which is natural enough, but this was coupled by an uncomfortable sense of envy. Strange, really - I was thrown in the deep, unfamiliar water of saints and the immaculate conception and one of my first thoughts was "What makes Mary so special? Why was she chosen? What makes her "blessed among women?"
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| Really captures the magnitude of the thing, doesn't it? |
Mary's obedience to be Christ-carrier plays a large role in our perception of her. God didn't hijack her will - she was free to say no - and her choice, of course, does her great credit. But I've caught myself thinking - "If an angel appeared to me out of nowhere, I'd do what it told me to too." "If I was immaculately conceived, I'd say yes too." "The chance to be mother of God? Who's going to say no to that?" The fact of the matter is, it's easy to get the idea that Mary had her life figured out for her...unlike the rest of us, who don't have angels giving us messages or an exemption from sin to keep us from making stupid mistakes. Honestly, I've resented her 'luck.'
All that being said, Mary didn't know what was coming. She had no idea that she'd turn around one day and have Gabriel standing in front of her. She was a holy woman and lived a life oriented toward God, of that I have no doubt, but we don't know that she had a premonition of in what form the Messiah would come. Scripture tells us that she learns as she goes along - after Jesus scares her out of her wits and turns up in the temple after a three-day search and tells her "Why were you searching for me? Did you not know I must be about my father's business?" we're told that Mary "kept these sayings in her heart." (Luke 2:49-52).
It's this human side of Mary that attracts me to her. Her not-knowing was the essence of her humility - "Let me be done to me according to thy will - " She consented, confusion be damned. And that is admirable - the suffering that Mary was to undergo - watching her beloved Son be misunderstood by most during almost the whole of His earthly existence, chased out of society on multiple occasions, be tortured to death - I shudder to think. She submitted to all of it, and this submission granted her the place she occupies today as the Queen of Heaven. I don't know about you, but if I were carrying the Son of God Incarnate, I would have a hard time getting things done. Go to Bethlehem to register for a tax? "Fuhgeddabout it, I'm a bit busy helping to save the world, thank you very much, I have no time for petty bureaucracy." Presenting my Son in the temple as if He were just another ordinary baby? "No way, man, don't touch Him, we're above all that!"
My understanding of Mary is in need of refining. Perceiving her as my own "mother" will continue to be a journey. The rather limited Protestant notion of worship at times still leaves me cringing with discomfort when I say the "Hail Mary." More on that another time.
Until that time, I remain faithfully yours -
Catholic in Memphis
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